Being Cupid is Hard!
by DillyTheWombat
Summary: What would you do when a crazy old man wearing a stupid fairy outfit come to you and said you are now a Cupid? Well, that EXACTLY what happened to Kariya here, and now, he must bring 5 couple together. If not? Let just say that his body will be found dead on the river the next day. And did he already said that now he had a freaking mind reading power? Joy. AU-ish, Crack-Fic. RnR?
1. Prologue

**Prologue**

It's official, Kariya Masaki is in hell.

Right now the troubled tealnette is in his room in Sun Garden, facing around restlessly like a perfect imitation of a princess that had been waiting for her prince (or maybe knight) in shining armor to save her on top of the cursed tower. But in Kariya cases, he's waiting for the darned witch a.k.a Kira Hitomiko to finally let him out of this personal hell!

Geez, why Hitomiko-nee locked him in his own room, he will never know. Okay, scratch that. He's perfectly know/understand what happened back there, and it seem Kariya really badly pissed her off this time. But, how the hell he must suppose to know that duck-shaped shampoo that he mixed with hot pink hair dye is Hitomiko-nee!? And now he stuck in here doing absolutely nothing for the past few hours in complete boredom, thanks to that wicked witch.

Falling his body lazily to his ever-so-messy bed, he sighed. To keep himself from the boredom that eating him alive, he let his mind wandered around what his friend are doing right now in this oh-so-wonderful day (please, note the sarcasm). First his mind thought about the always-so-cheerful captain and the emo striker, or as you guys know as Matsukaze Tenma and Tsurugi Kyousuke,_'Those two must be on there always-gonna-be denied date, and stalking them from behind is a certain blue eyed, orange haired boy' _Imagining the scene on his head, Kariya chuckled. _'Got to admit, that was a funny mental image'_

Next his mind wonder about the genius maestro-or whatever he was called-Shindou Takuto,_ 'Shindou-senpai maybe in his house playing that piano of his right now, and I'm gonna betting my Hunter Net-the real one-that he had no idea_ _about his two fan boys-plus one fan girl-that stalking him everywhere' _He snorted, could imagining it perfectly in his head.

In his house-like mansion, Shindou-senpai is playing his piano without a care in the world, then came Kirino-senpai that come to just playing around in his house, but secretly had been taking picture nonstop of the oblivious ex-captain. And then, there was Akane-san, with her creepy ninja power snuck right into Shindou-senpai room and stealing his personal belonging with a REALLY creepy laugh. Standing right in front of the gigantic door is one and only Ibuki Munemasa, with his elephant-like strength break the poor door into million pieces, not even bothered to knocking it, and then he will screaming Shindou-senpai name as hard as he could like a madman annoying the living day life of Shindou-senpai. Poor, poor, Shindou-senpai.

Kariya couldn't help it, but he laugh-out-loud at the thought. Heck, he even fall from his bed, and _still_ laughing.

* * *

"HAAACHI!"

"Are you okay, Shindou?" Kirino asked worriedly, quietly snuffling some mysterious object on his secret back-pocket.

"Err, yeah… don't know why, but I just feel like someone just talk-or maybe think-about me…" With a shiver, the oblivious but sharp ex-captain reply.

At that statement, his pink haired companion turning a little TOO nervous for Shindou liking. "M-maybe it was… err, Kariya? YES! It must be Kariya! I mean, that boy couldn't stop pestering every person goddamn business! Ha... ha?"

Shindou raised an eyebrow, "Hmm, okay? A-anyway Kirino, do you have any business coming here?"

"Eh?" Now that totally unexpected.

"Not to be rude or anything, but you always come to my house every day. N-not that I minded it or anything! It just that… well, you never really said why you come here in the first place… so, yeah…"

"W-well, I… you know, err…" _This is getting more, and more awkward… come on, Kirino! It's a perfect time to say it! _With the thought in mind, Kirino take a deep breath, calming his nerve down. "Shi-Shindou?"

"Yes?"

"Will you… will you…!?"

"Hmm…?"

"Shi-Shindou! Do you want to be my-"

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!"

The sudden shout that came out of nowhere, is successfully ruining the mood.

"Did you hear that!?" Shindou, in panic, asked. Turning his head sharply in every direction

"NO! Shin-sama! I forbid you to answer that Cross-dressing liar!"

"HEY!"

"…Okay, I'm freaking out right now…"

_BRUUUUUUK!_

the roof, seemed to think that this was the perfect time to broken into pieces, fall down. Coughing at the dust that now surrounding his room, Shindou and Kirino narrowed their eyes at the big hole on his ceiling, then observing the previously clean room, just to see…

"AKANE!?"

"Ow… that's hurt… hmm?" The intruder cry out, finally realizing that she was on the other side of Shindo and Kirino vision. "Sh-Shin-sama!? I-I c-can explain!"

"Yes, and please explain why you are on my rooftop wearing a ninja outfit and- IS THAT _MY_ CLOTHES!?" The formerly calm tone on Shindou voice, turned into one would you call a hysterical shriek of a little girl, of how high-pitched it is.

The ninja-and stalker-Akane was now fidgeting nervously at Shindou and Kirino narrowed glare (the latter was with a completely different reason), "Err, you see I'm… well, I just… hmm… I-"

_BRUUUUUUK!_ (please noted that this is the sound of a broken door).

"SHINDOOOOOOOOOOU!"

"_NOT AGAIN!_"

* * *

When finishing his laugh (that getting scolded by Hitomiko-nee because his laugh sound exactly like a crazy pedophile), Kariya get up from his rolling position on the floor, then stretch his arm upward, feeling the stiffness in his muscle was now more relaxed. Who would have thought that laughing his ass out was _this_ exhausting?

Falling himself in sitting position on his still messy bed, Kariya sighed. The boredom was still stubbornly didn't want to leave him at all, messing his hair in frustration, the tealnette huff in defeat, deciding that he couldn't do nothing to make it go away.

Walking a few step from his bed, he leaned himself to the window frame, not really knowing what he was looking for or even doing. When he just randomly looking at his neighborhood, he spot a messy puff of purple hair. Thinking about a certain forward on his mind, Kariya narrowed his eyes at the far-away purple silhouette, just to find out that it was some random dog walking around.

Disappointed at what he saw, Kariya cursed. Since when did dog even HAVE a purple fur!? Sighing for a million time that day, his mind again wandered about his purple headed… _'Friend. We're just friend…'_ Kariya unwillingly (not that he's going to admit it) thought. Okay, maybe he _is_ had _tiny miny_ crush on the forward, but… _'Who care anyway!? Not that I love him or anything like that! Right…?'_

Shaking his head madly, he face-palmed himself at the stupidity of his thought. _'Of course he wouldn't like me back! I mean I'm always messing around with him every chance I got… Beside Hikaru already got Amagi-senpai with him…'_

Thinking about Hikaru and Amagi-senpai together is enough to make the great Kariya Masaki to be burned with jealousy. _'Fuck all! I will get out of here! Whether Hitomiko-nee like it or not!' _With a new spark of determination in his eyes, Kariya slide his teal-colored frame window non-to-gently in rage. Then without even thinking clearly about it, jump out, not really caring that he was free jumping from a three story high building.

Okay, maybe he care a little.

If it's not for his cat-like reflex, right now Kariya will have many broken bones on his hand, but it doesn't mean that it's not hurt as hell. "Note to self; never copying a scene from a movie, however badass it's look like. God… my bone…"

Limping his way out of the Sun Garden is really as not as easy as he thought it would. Since when that they have bull dog right outside of the gate!? _'Riiiight, thank you very much Haruya-nii…' _Face palming at his oh-so-wonderful-luck, Kariya sighed, readying himself to get many, _many_ bruise, and a breaking bones for the next day.

* * *

_Many limping and bruise later~_

"Stupid worthless dog… if I get my hand on him next time…!" Is the murmur of the newly alive Kariya Masaki.

Right now our protagonist (even though I hate to admit it) is walking-that he occasionally limping at-along the bridge, making his way to the river bank, cursing all the way. Feeling a vibrate under his shoe, he stopped. Warily looking around to see if there was any earthquake going on, but the one that held his attention was the sky. It was… weird, if he say to himself.

'_Mega weird…'_

The sky is anything from what he ever seen. All is pitch black, there was no room for the usual cheerful color of blue to peek out of the sky. Heck, even the sun is outdo by how dark the day is, he's not even sure if right now was noon if it's not for his watch that he ste-borrow from Hiroto-nii. Staring at it for a while, he finally realize that the things that cover up the sky was some sort of really fat and ugly cloud.

Kariya saw that the black-shaped cloud thingy was now swirling around freely on the sky, making a weird noise that he couldn't help but to raise an eyebrow at in confusion. Is it him, or is he really just hearing a Santa Clause laugh that really creepy up there!? Whatever it is, it was not good.

Deciding that this was not his day, he quickening his pace, thanking all the God out there that the street is empty without a single person out here right now. Nervously, he sneak a glance from his shoulder to the disturbing black cloud, just to realize that the 'thing' has been following him, literally. Panicking, he broke into a small run, then glancing to the cloud thingy, now knowing that the 'thing' is on the same pace on him. Oh hell yes, this thing really _is_ following him!

Now running for his life, he scream. Why must he choose for this day to sneak away from the orphanage!? Oh yeah, Hitomiko-nee… _'God, if this…_ thing _is the way you want to kill me, please don't! I still want to life, thank you very much! Just… at least let me say sorry to all of the kids in Sun Garden and my friend! And… maybe saying that three magical word to...!?'_

"EXTEND ZONE!"

'_Wait… I know that voice…!'_

Now fully opening his previously closed eyelids, he recognize that the place where he stand right now is his first destination, the river bank. Why he choose the river bank? Well, it's because of the scenery _and _the abandoned soccer field. The said abandoned soccer field was not so abandoned as he thought it would because there was someone already using it.

"Hikaru!?"

The purple headed feet that already swinging to kick one of the many balls out there, lost it balance, resulting him to fall butt first to the ground. Snickering a little at his teammate misfortune, Kariya smirked. Hikaru, that now standing on his feet, groaned, unconsciously rubbing his aching butt. Looking around him to find the source of the voice that screaming his name (and making him fall), he looked up. Just to find a smirking face of one and only Kariya Masaki.

Blushing like he usually did when he see his crush, Hikaru smiled. Ready to wave back at the tealnette across from him, then realizing that something really, _really_, weird had just happening in front of his eyes.

'_What the…!?'_

"KARIYA-KUN!"

_DUAAAAAAAR!_

And everything went black.

* * *

The first thing that Kariya notice right away was that he's not on his bed, that was kind of obvious just by the softness of where he sleep right now. The second was that everything smells like a medicine or a cranky old people perfume. The third is that his ear couldn't stop to hear someone cry, and God, this guy could cry!

_Oh m-my God! *sob* please, b-be… *hic* okay… Ka-Kariya-kun… *sob*_

Feeling rather pissed by whoever cry that was, he stirred in his not-so-peaceful sleep. Trying his best to open his heavy eyelids, his half-opening eyes could see a flash of purple, but that's it… stupid eyes sight and the blurriness!

A gasp, is the next thing that Kariya hear. "Kariya-kun! You finally awake!" Now that the blurriness and the dizziness is finally gone, he could clearly see and connect the purple flash to be Hikaru that now sitting comfortably right beside his bed.

Sighing in relief himself, he tried to bring a smirk out to his face, but fail miserably and it come out more of a grimace than a smirk. "Y-yeah… of c-course I'm… o-okay…." Kariya winched at how rusty his voice sound like. "Y-you know… you d-don't have… *cough* to c-cry about it…!"

At that, Hikaru crouch his eyebrows together in confusion. "What do you mean I cry…? I never cry a tear in here…"

"What!?" Now that unexpected. "B-but I clearly hear y-you...!"

The sound of the creak of the door is successfully cutting his sentence. The two soccer player looking startled at the hospital door (that Kariya finally realizes) of his room, it was pretty many, from what Kariya could see, the people he mean.

There was the Doctor (obviously), a Nurse (is it him, or is that nurse just checking him out…!?), Hitomiko-nee (God, she look completely pissed…), Hiroto-nii (with a clear amusement on his face, if he get his hand on him…!), and last Midorikawa-nii (still looking as girly as possible). Then when all of them already stand right in front of his bed, the first one to speak was Hiroto-nii, "So, Kariya. How are you…?" _*snicker* Ha! In your face Masaki! If you steal my watch again, that is what you got! _

'_What just…!?'_

"Hiroto, I think we must let the Doctor speak first…" _Don't worry Honey~ you still look hot whenever you do wrong~ *giggle*_

'…_Am I just hear Midorikawa-nii...!?'_

"Yes, thank you so much Mr. Midorikawa" _Stupid gay couple and their no respect way! I will _so_ tell them who's boss in here you gay!_

'…_THAT is a Doctor!?'_

"Maybe we should go out?" _That brat will get one serious hell back in the orphanage, I swear with my life! Even if that is the last thing I do!_

'_Oh God… Please don't tell me that I'm…!'_

"It's for the best Kira-san. But do not need to worry, your child is safe with us" _Yes, and with me in bed~ *giggle*_

'_Oh hell yes, _I am_… *sigh*'_

And from that day on, Kariya realize it. Now? he had a _freaking_ mind reading power…

'_Shit!'_

* * *

**A/N: If you guys is confused by the whole mind reading thing, Kariya thought have this '…' but normal people is with the normal italic ^^ But, well… I hope I make it obvious…**

**A-anyway, this will be some experiment fanfic or something like that, so… if you guys want me to continue this please review and tell me what you think!**

**But until then…**

**OrangeLevel10, peace out~ **


	2. I'm a Cupid? Hell Naw!

**"**That... Is the _weirdest_ dream I had ever have."

Kariya don't know how it all started, or when he even gotten to sleep. But his dream surely making him traumatic for life now. Ugh, scratch that. It's more like nightmare. Definitely.

Want to know his crazy dream, you said? What about... No. Hell no. _Fuck_ no. And other more offensive decline words for you, you whippersnappers! (What the hell does that word even mean anyway?)

...Huh? What's that? You know his darkest most embarrassing secret and will upload it on the internet? Ugh, what's with people and blackmailing him nowadays?! Geez, okay, okay! Stop that phone right there! You are worst than Kirino-senpai! ...Sigh, let him begin then.

It's kinda embarrassing of a start really, Kariya can't hold the craziness of the situation that turning more and more weirder every minute that past, so he fainted oh-so-gracefully on the hospital bed, the last thing he heard were the thought of peoples screaming in his head. At least... That's what he thought. He had this weird idea that he fainted because of the creepy nurse sabotage his medicine or Hitomiko-nee decide to punch him to the moon... Let just say he fainted because his brain switch off, 'kay?

His sleep is blank, no colour, no building, no hunter net, nothing. It dreamless, and that the way he liked it. But alas, the God out there decide that he didn't get fucked enough and say, "Hey! What about sending this kid an old man in fairy custom then change him into a cupid?" Great idea? More like the shittiest idea.

So yeah, this old man suddenly came with big fluttery butterfly wings with his equally eye-blinding silver ballet dress and diamond tutu shoes.

Diamond. Tutu. Shoes.

Kariya puked.

"Eww! Don't go anywhere near me you brat!" Said the glittering old man, waving his magic wand (yes, he had a freaking magic wand. And it's the type with stick and those big christmas star glued on top of it. Oh, God... It's horrible! Can he puked again now?) wildly on every direction.

Kariya glared, "Oh sorry for puking in your delightful presence you disgusting eye blinding tutu wearing old man." Obvious sarcasm is obvious.

"What the hell are you doing in my dream anyway?" Kariya continuedon, didn't want any magical awful comeback from the old man. "Hell, who and_ what _the fuck are you?!"

The disgusting eye blinding tutu wearing old man huffed, glaring at Kariya with wand raised. Maybe he want to wack Kariya with it? Who know. "Language, br-...Young man!"

Kariya rolled his eyes, "Yeah, yeah, whatever. Can you tell me your name now?"

Hearing his question, the old man grinned widely. "I, young man, is Endou Daisuke! The number one cupid in heaven! You should be happy on talking to me again, Kariya Masaki!"

Kariya almost puked again.

"The hell?! You're supposed to be dead!"

Tutu wearing Endou Daisuke frowned, "Seriously? That's what you say to your old ex-couch?"

"Yeah, because he's dead! And dead people wasn't suppose to be in my dream! Get your glittering ass away from here! And start listening to me now and stop making those stupid unicorn and rainbow!

That, get Daisuke attention, "Oh sorry-not-sorry. Your dream wasn't fabulous enough so I make it FABULOUS! Thank me later."

You can literally see smoke spewing out of Kariya's ears, "I don't want your gayness! Just get the fuck out of here or I kick you!" To further his emphasis, he created the alien ball Hiroto-nii used in his alien obsessed day.

"Okay, okay, okay! I heard you!" Under his breath, the old man muttered. "Someone got a stick in his mud."

_Whoosh...!_ One ball almost crash into the old man 'fabulous' face.

"Eeep! Stop! Not the face! Everything but the face!"

"Just tell me the reason why a dead glittering old man is here in my dream and I consider it!"

Daisuke raise his hands in surrender motion, nodding. "You got a deal, young man."

"And? Tell me!" Kariya finally let the balls disappear, urging the old man for answer.

"Well..." Daisuke trailed off, "Remember the thunder that struck you today?"

Kariya raise an eyebrow, "What's this have to do with anything?"

"Everything, child."

Kariya again rolled his eyes, "Stop being so fucking dramatic. Just tell me already."

"Geez, okay. You'll see, I got tired one day on bringing love to the world so I ask God-"

"Wait, God is real?"

"Yes, yes he is. Can I continue now?"

Kariya shrugged.

"Thank you," He cleared his throat then continue, "Anyway, so I got tired with my job and ask God if I can get someone replace me for a while so that I can get some me-fabulous time with hot guys in Hawaii and he said yes. Oh, that guy is freaking FABULOUS! Ahem, so I make this cloud thingy to choose the right guy for me and-"

"The hell? Thaat freaky ass cloud is yours?!"

"Yes, it's mine. Can you please shut up now?"

Kariya huffed.

Daisuke glared, "Anyway! I make this fabulous cloud to help me choose a replacement for my job as being a cupid-and guarding little Mamoru from his so called wive. How the hell can my Mamoru married that bitch?-So I got a nice vacation for a month or two. The cloud work, and it electrocuted you. And that mean your my new cupid slave from now on!"

"..."

"What? Speechless aren't you?" Daisuke grinned proudly, "I know it such a great opportunity, right?! Everyone wanted to spread the love to the world!"

"...Dude, what the actual fuck?! Hell no! I do not want to be a fucking Cupid! Not in a million years! Spread the love my ass! You just want me to make all the job done for you! Go to hell, Old Man!"

"Sorry, you don't have a say in this."

"Why not?!"

"Because, you'll dead if you are not accepting this."

That shut Kariya up, "Y-you can't do that!"

"Yes I can, Kariya-san. I can even do it right now if you want me to."

Kariya gulped. He don't know if Daisuke is serious or not, but looking at the situation right now, he is. Beside, he can't risk this, it his life for God sake! But being a Cupid? A guy who match people up? Wearing tutu for living? No way in hell! ...Too bad he really don't have a say in this at all.

"I...I..." Kariya sighed, "I accept."

Daisuke is obviously taken back, "You accept?"

Kariya is far more annoyed than afraid now, "Yes, I accept, Old man. But no dresses for me! Or tutu! God no tutu!"

"Haha, I know you'll accept!" The old man make a loud carefree laugh, as if he wasn't about to kill someone a minute ago.

"Uhuh, of course you are." Rolling his eyes is soon to be a habit of his, isn't it?

Suddenly, Daisuke stopped. "Wait, is my cloud making you have side effect or anything? Like, I don't know, mind reading power maybe?"

Kariya tried to not look nervous, "Hmm... No. Beside almost burned to dead, I don't think I had any super power. Why?"

"Oh, that's good, 'cause I have to kill you for real if you had one."

The defender eyes got wide, "W-what?!"

"Wow, look at the time! I need to go now! By the way, Kariya-kun, your job start right after you wake up! I have a quota to match up five couples together, you only have one month, if not, let just say your body will be found dead in the river the next day. Bye-bye!"

And with sparkling dust, he's gone.

By the way, that is the ending for the story of his life. Fucking fantastic.

"Hmm... Kariya-kun, I don't know your that hungry. A-at least chew before you gulp it down!"

"Yeah, you look like a pig, wolfing those food down that fast."

Kariya whip his mouth with the end of his hospital shirt sleeve, pausing on eating his anger away. "Shut up, what the hell are you guys doing here anyway? Don't you guys have a date or something?"

Tsurugi blushed, "For the last fucking time Kariya, it's NOT a date!" He said through gritted teeth.

Tenma just laugh care freely, "Yeah, silly Kariya!"

"Silly me, huh? Whatever. By the way, thanks for the cake Tenma, don't know you had it in you to cook." Kariya smirked.

"Oh, it's not me!" Tenma wave his hand right and left, "Well, not all of it at least. You got to thanks Tsurugi-kun too! He helped me a lot!"

"Hmp." Tsurugi looked away.

Ho ho, time for teases! "Aah, is that a blush I see in your face Tsurugi-kun~?"

"Don't say another word, Masaki."

"Oooh, first name! So scary~!"

"I warning you, Masaki!"

"Heh? Since when did you warn people, Tsurugi-kun? Is it because of a special someone~?"

"Why you...!"

Tenma sweat dropped, "G-guys! Don't fight now, please!"

Before any of them can open their mouth, the nurse from yesterday walk in, surprising the three. _Especially_ Kariya.

"Sorry to interrupt, but it's time for Kariya-kun to rest now. Maybe tomorrow?" _Finally! I can sleep with that hottie at last! No more people, just the two of us! Tee he~_

Kariya shivered, scooting away from the nurse as far as his bed can let him.

"Hmm... Okay, thanks. Just a minute please?" Tenma said, smiling in those charming puppy way of his.

"Of course." _Damn it, kid! Just go already! Hmph!_ The nurse finally leave the three be, ...for now.

"So... I guess we visit you again tomorrow, right Tsurugi-kun?"

"Y-yes, Tenma." _I'll be there wherever you are, Tenma. Always._

"Great!" _Sigh, Tsurugi-kun is so nice~ And hot too! ...Wait, what?_

Kariya can't help it, their thought are just too funny to resist. He laughed. "Oh my God! You two are SO fabulous!"

Tenma and Tsurugi only stare at him, thinking he's going crazy.

"What?" Kariya reply back the stare with his glare, "Go on a date, you lovebirds."

They both blushed, looking at each other and nod. Yep, Kariya is going crazy alright. The three soccer players talk again for a little bit before the Captain and the Striker say their goodbye. They then leave Kariya alone, but not before thinking about how hot and sexy the other is.

After they left, it hit him.

_OMG, I can totally match them up as a couple! Let's see... Tenma... Tsurugi? No, it's Kyousuke. Kyou... Ten..._

Kariya smirked.

_Operation KyouTen is on, baby!_

* * *

**So... Hi, I'm not dead and not abandoning this fic. What's up?**

**God, it's almost a year now! I'm sorry! I promise the next update won't be this long! ...I hope.**

**Anyway, did you guys love it, hate it, or want to burn it? Please tell me on the review, just so I know there's people out there reading my story :D Oh, and please fav and follow too!**

**Until next time!**

**OrangeLover10 peach out~ **


	3. Questionable Plan and Confusion

_'Wow, Tenma looks cute in this direction.'_

_'Hmm... I wonder if Tsurugi-kun have abbs? ...Totally have abbs.'_

_**'**Oh shit, Tenma looking this way! Act casual Tsurugi! Act casual!'_

_'What the hell is_ those_ two drooling on_ _about?!'_

And that my friends, is what Kariya has to endure for 2 hours, 36 minutes, 14 seconds in class. The always-in-denial couple thought about each other _every freaking time._

Let me rephrase that again: Every. _Fucking_. Time.

Kariya already been sick in the stomach remembering those glittery tutus, but _this_, is just beyond him. But before he can throw up in Shinsuke lap (that sitting beside him in the back row), fortunately or not, the bell rang. The ringing sound almost making his ears explode, not because of the sound of it, but the _voices_ that kick in after that.

_'Finally! I can't leave this accursed classroom! Don't... Think... About... Ten... Ma! Damn, his swirly hair is cute too. ...Ah, Damn it!'_

_'Wonder where Tsurugi-kun gone to? Hope he's okay of me dragging him into a soccer match. ...What am I saying? Of course he's alright with it! Tehee,' _"Tsurugi-kun! Wait up!"

_'Those two is turning weirder and even more weirder... What the hell is wrong with them?'' _Agree Aoi, totally agree.

_'...Did Kariya just want to puke on me?!' _Yes Shinsuke, and you are saved by the bell, literally.

_'Kariya-kun looks dazed, is he alright?'_

"Yeah, I'm fine, Hikaru. Thanks for asking," Kariya said before he registered _where_ the question came from, now focusing his frustrated gaze on the boy sitting in front of him, thinking that he has a smooth enough Poker Face. (_News flash_: He's not.)

Hikaru quickly turn back, eyes widening, "W-what? H-how did you...-?!"

"How did I what?" The defender raise an eyebrow, for the first time looking relaxed since stepping his foot to this wretched school (oddly enough, Hikaru always have that effect on him. B-but the boy probably have the same effect to everyone, right? Right?!)

But the (mentally) younger boy only getting more agitated, "Y-you! Doing _something_! Reading m-my... Reading my _mind_!"

Kariya eyes widened, thinking: _Oh shit._

"O-_oh_... Ahaha! Y-you know! L-lucky guess, lucky guess!" Here he wave his two hands frantically, eyes darted everywhere and anywhere other than the boy in front of him.

Looking at his friend weird behaviour, Hikaru try to suppress his growing agitation, turning more and more concerned every second pass between them. "A... Are you sure you're alright, Kariya-kun?"

"Yes! I'm _totally_ fine!" Kariya nodded, too fast for it to be natural. But that's not his main concern right now. The thing he's worried about is to get the _fuck_ out of here.

Kariya stood up suddenly, "You know what? I'm getting _really_ hungry right now, I better go to the cafeteria!" He started walking backward here, "Want me to get you something? _Anything_, Hikaru?"

"Eh? Uhm, n-no-...,"

Kariya cut him off, "Really? You sure? Then I better get going! Buh-bye!"

And he's already out before anyone can blink.

"B-bye..." Hikaru frowned, _'Okay, now I'm definitely worried.'_

* * *

Forcing air into his lung, Kariya found out, is not so easy when you are panting like a maniac.

The green haired boy could only lean his back tiredly on his hiding place: in one of those hundred old rickety sakura tree in the school backyard. His chest hurt like hell as he still trying to inhale that sweet, _sweet_, oxygen.

"Sheesh... H-he... *pant* Almost... F-find out...!" He gasp.

"Who's going to find out what?"

Kariya stiffened, moving automatically in fright. This set of move, is in fact, a move to defend himself as he... Awkwardly kicking stuff.

The person though, have a much better idea. The guy dodge the poor excuse of a kick with an amazing backflip two times in a row, making a graceful landing worthy of a circus performers. Then, the guy glared at him, "The hell Kariya?! You're almost giving me a heart attack!"

Kariya sighed, "Oh, it's only you Kirino-senpai."

Oh yes, the person in front of him is none other than the feminine beyond girly teammates of his, Kirino Ranmaru. His hair is still as pink as ever, with an additional lunch box on top his head.

_Wait... What?_

Noticing his junior had been gaping at him for a while, Kirino try to look upward, curious as to what Kariya been gaping at. Rubbing his head for awhile, he realise, with embarrassment steadily growing, that him doing the impressive backflip somehow gotten his lunch stuck on top of his head. He literally can _smell _the ooziness of squid dripping to his hair.

"Eew! Gross, gross, gross, gross, _gross_!"

Kariya sweat dropped, "_Senpai_, just take that lunch box out of your head."

"R-right," The older boy do what he was told, closing the box, now ashamed of himself for letting himself dance like a chicken without it head in front of his junior.

Oh wait, you know what, let me rephrase that: In front of good for nothing, trouble making, annoying brat, blackmailing master Kariya freaking Masaki.

He's _doomed_.

"Anyway, _Senpai_... What's in the box?" Kariya asked absentmindedly, checking his fingernails trying to act uninterested. And it miraculously work! Talk about naivety.

"Aah, this?" Kirino shove the box in front of Kariya face, expression none. "It's my lunch of course," _Duh_.

A vein popped from the greenette forehead, "I _know_ that! I mean, what type of lunch did you brought?! Sheesh!"

"Oh," The senior mouth change shape into an 'O', now smiling sheepishly. "Well... It's... Pretty ordinary really."

"Really?" Kariya raise an unbelieving eyebrow, "Let me see it then."

The younger boy unexpectedly grasp the lunch box from Kirino's hands, making the said senior yelp in surprise. "H-hey! That's not-...?!"

Kariya ignored him, opening up the box eagerly, only to be greeted by a holy sight (seriously, Kariya heard a choir playing in the background while he open up the damn thing, light spewing out of the box-Definitely Oldie Gay-Endou doing-literally).

The only think he could say was... "...Seriously, dude? You said _this_ were ordinary?!"

Inside the box, much to Kariya dismay, were full of golden mouth-watering sushi from all different places. It looked shiny and expensive as hell. Heck, Kariya is tempted to droll on this thing. But Kirino probably kick him in that part before he can even put spit on his precious magnificent lunch.

Shooing the thought of drooling, Kariya eagerly pick one of the sushi, shoving them into his mouth. "Hman... Hmis mis hood! (Man... This is good!)" Hey, what can he say? Enjoy free food while it's on his hands.

Surprise finally wavering, Kirino looks more pissed than anything else Kariya ever witnessed: With hands on his hips, mouth curled downward, and a nasty glare to the junior. Kirino is, without a shred of doubt, is in rage.

"Oh, _come on_! That's not yours! It's not even _mine_!" _'It's for Shindou! I make this for him, 'kay?! Goddamnit, I didn't even get a drop of _sleep_ making this!'_

Kariya stopped eating 'Kirino's' lunch, almost choking in his mid chewing. "This lunch... This _thing_ is for _Shindou-senpai_?"

"W-what?" His senior eyes widened, "O-of course not! T-this is for me and no one else! W-what are you talking about?" Kirino laugh uneasily, thinking: _H-how the hell did he know?! He's not an esper, isn't he?_

In the mid of his senior confusion, Kariya speak up.

"Kirino-senpai," Kariya called, eyes covered by his bang. "Here, take this. Thanks for the _lunch_, by the way."

A flash of surprisement crossed Kirino face as his junior give him back the lunch box, he keep on starring in puzzlement at Kariya as he trotted away, looking dejected. Sakura blossom rain the place, ironically beautiful for the pitiful scene.

Ignoring Kirino stare, Kariya started to question himself.

_Why? Why does it hurt so much?_ Clutching his chest, Kariya can't help but wondered. _What the hell is wrong with me?_

* * *

It's the end of school time, and Kariya still can't figure out what the hell is wrong with him.

"It can't be the side effect of that lightning, could it?" He wondered out loud, "Or is that nurse really did do something to me when I was asleep?!"

Kariya don't know and seriously _did not_ want to know. Thinking back on it, that super creepy nurse probably did do something to him. If so, that wouldn't surprise him. But the real question is... What _did_ she do?

The greenette stopped in his track, bitch-slapping himself. "God no! Think positive, Kariya! Think about something _positive_!"

And he started on muttering on what he think is 'positive'; "Sparkly vampire... Mary sue... Pokemon... PreciousShipping... Oh, wait no! That's not-...!"

I guess you couldn't really blame Kariya dim-wittyness for his rattled mind today. He's been hospitalised for _three days_, and only yesterday did he allowed to be back to his 'normal' life.

Of course he's super grateful for the early leaving, one more day spend on that hell hole people called hospital the more Kariya dive into insanity. And there's no need to add the beyond creepy nurse and the ass-hollish doctors to the experience.

_Grrr_... And there's also the fact that he's been forced to be a stupid _match maker._..

Sigh, nothing's been right for him for the past week, isn't it?

But you know what? For once Kariya just want to finish his 'duty' and end it, _fast_. No need for troublesome love matching career to ruin his life.

So there he was, clutching two pink letters as if his life depended on it, sneaking around the club lockers room like a true hunter that he is.

But... There's only _one_ problem:

"Where the _fuck_ is Tenma locker?!" The 'Cupid' scream-whisper to himself as he search the place, looking for any indication that one of these sucky lockers belong to the Captain.

The plan (that he may or may not get from Hitomiko-nee questionable novel) was to force Tsurugi and Tenma to a date with one another. Tomorrow when soccer practice is over, they going to find a letter slipped into their lockers, under the impression that the other has ask them out on a date. They couldn't refuse of course, with or without Kariya mind reading power, it's obvious Tsurugi and Tenma (that he begin calling KyouTen for... Mission purpose) is madly in love with each other.

If Kariya is lucky enough (and he truly do hope so), neither of them will mention the letters and realise that the other didn't ask them out. Help him fingers crossing for that.

Slipping the letter to Tsurugi locker is easy enough, the guy locker is fortunately located beside his own, so he could just slip the cursed letter and leave it at that.

But searching for the uke in this relationship locker is a whole pile of _bullshit._

Tenma, as the Captain, is usually one of the few who came really early with his uniform on, and the kid is also the last to leave the field. So how can a guy know what locker to look for in this admittedly _ridiculous_ situation?!

An hour later, and Kariya is ready to give up. "Goddamn it, can someone _please _step down and help me here?!"

And help him _it_ did.

Kariya could just _feel_ a ghost-like presence beside him, luring him into the corner, magically open one innocent locker where it lure him into.

The inside of the locker, Kariya dully noted, is full of soccer related thing. The most noticeable thing was a big poster of Coach Endou when he was young, holding a golden soccer ball with his two equally young looking friends, Gouenji and Kidou. And the other more noticeable thing is pictures, pictures of Tsurugi Kyousuke in odd angle in every spot imaginable in this arguably huge lockers.

Welp, this is definitely Tenma lockers all right.

Still feeling the weird presence beside him, Kariya mumble a soft thank you to the ghost thingy, feeling rather freak out by the situation.

Thankfully, the presence is gone in a second.

Calming down his hammering hard is easier said than done, Kariya try to shove the supernatural thing to the back of his mind, thinking it was unimportant for... For a _very_ long time to come. He then put the letter where it would be easy to find, slamming the locker door when he's done.

Going out the same way he's going in, Kariya retain a somewhat positive attitude, thinking that maybe, _maybe_ his luck has finally turn around.

But what the Cupid didn't realise though, hiding in the shadow equally as sneaky as him, is a person with a mission in mind. A mission to _break_ KyouTen apart.

* * *

**A/N: Oh, look! An update! And it's less than a year! Give this Author a pat on the back! *confetti suddenly fall from everywhere***

**...But seriously though, I need to discipline myself with that one week need to update thing. My writing schedule is getting _really_ ridiculous. My LAZINESS is getting ridiculous!**

**Sigh, aaaaanyway, hope you guys enjoy this chapter as much as I am enjoying writing this chapter for you wonderful readers out there! And what's this? Plot kicking in? Of course it is!**

**I'm a little curious though, can anyone guess who's this 'Mysterious Person' is? Leave your guess in the review, if you're right, you can tell me one dialogue either Tenma or Tsurugi will say on their date! Remember, make it sweet and romantic and- Oh fuck this, it can be whatever you want! Just... Don't cross that T rating, 'kay? Got it? **

**So, I await your guesses!**


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